Saturday, July 28, 2012
Crazy Night...The Lord Reigns
It is 2 in the morning, and somehow the night has gone so fast. Sometimes in Haiti all you can do to process a night, an obstacle, a moment…you write. So tonight as I unwind, try to enjoy some of the cool night air, I write. Headed to the hospital with Ryna at about 10:30 as the guard from the hospital came to get Ryna. They said they had 5 people vomiting and having seizures. Ryna explains as we head to the hospital, you never know what you are going to get when you get there. Sometimes it is worse than they make it sound, sometimes it is just a headache. I went for moral support and extra hands. This place often wakes you up, slaps you in the face, or quickly refreshes your soul. Tonight it woke me up as we walked into the hospital to find 5 children, 1 woman laying on the beds. One child had already been having seizures before he arrived and the others where sitting so quietly just observing. The woman was having seizures and vomiting. The father was trying to explain what he thought happen, they were eating rice and a bit after this happened. AS he exited the room we heard a crash, as the father, too feel to the floor and started convulsing. It is this moment of what is going on, I feel helpless, is this really happening, where are we? Kind of found myself sitting with this little boy named Benti who was having seizures maybe every 30 minutes. As he seized I couldn’t help but look into his eyes, they just seemed to cry for help. Never seen a person seize before, let along a child. Just hurts your heart, then to see all his family members around him embracing the same thing….makes you sick. Humbled every problem I “think” I have every had. What “problem” of mine can even compare to this now? Never seen a boy fight so hard. The seizures didn’t seem to stop, but somehow he kept fighting. At one point I looked to the floor, it is so interesting what you notice in moments where you seem to be focused in on one thing. He just vomited up blood, and on the floor was an almost perfect heart from his blood, about the size of a small greeting card. Just stared at it for a bit and this verse came to my heart, a verse that has been beating loudly on this trip: Ecclesiastes 4:1 Again I observed all the oppression that takes place in our world. I saw the tears of the oppressed, with NO ONE to comfort them. The oppressors have great power, and the victims are helpless. See such oppression here that it begins to frustrate you, hurt you, make you want to weep, make you want to move here and fight for these people, make you question all the things you wanted in life, make you go deeper with Christ because you can’t make any sense of it. Benti, fought like no other. At one point his blood pressure seemed to get lower and his heart beat was slowing, but Benti kept fighting. Children can fight, it is amazing the strength they have to fight. He seemed to be coming out of it when I left and was struggling with pain, which could be a good thing as he was coming out of it. Just laid my hand on his head and kept trying to pray for the little kiddo, can’t say my prayers were strong as I was trying to focus in the midst of trying to comprehend the night. Fought back the tears and thought of the verse in the bible where it speaks of God knowing our prayers through our tears and how he holds them all. After the father went down, his brother sat with him and just silently cried. Feel like it is not often you see that in Haiti. You often hear wailing from family members if someone dies, but I have never really seen a cry like this. He looked so scared, helpless. My heart just broke for him, here he was watching his brother and nieces and nephews fighting life….with the potential of them all dying in the night. Made me think about my family…Lord, I think I would have lost it if I was watching something like this unfold with my family members. Here I am at 2 in the morning, have to get up for camp at 7….but found Silent Night on my computer. I know it is a Christmas song, but somehow it seems like the perfect song for the night. Silent night, o holy night….maybe it is the peace behind the song, maybe it is the prayer that Benti can sleep a silent night and wake up feeling no pain…I don’t know…but it is a comfort. God is moving in this place. As much as I see oppression, tonight I got to watch two wonderful nurses who have come to Haiti to volunteer their time to serve this place, these people, our God. I watched them work under pressure and come together to support the family and each other. So neat to see what God does here. Without those nurses tonight that family would have died I often say that Haiti will make or break you…I think it does both. Asked God to break me in a different way on this trip…not really knowing what that meant, but feel like tonight in the midst of the chaos, unknowing, God once again broke throw and showed his power and broke me in a different way. Once again broke my heart for the things that break his heart, revealed his power, and helped me to get out of my self. Posting this a day after and have to say that the Lord moved last night. The family is doing well. The boy that was doing the worst, is up and talking and eating. Many of the Haitians said they should have died; it was that bad…but we serve a mighty God. That was the Lord last night. I know there was medicine and doctors, but God moved through their hands, he moved through those people, and he put a fighter spirit in that boy. Never seen a child fight so hard…so grateful that we serve a living and powerful God. This morning I was sipping coffee and this verse was on my cup,”God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things that I can, and the wisdom to know the difference. “ Brought a peace to my heart…. Thanks for letting me write, helps to process. Love you all, continue to pray for the hands that have committed their lives to this place. Pray for strength and endurance, this place is hard and exhausting. I am only 4 weeks in and exhausted, can’t imagine someone that has been here for months or years. Pray for little Benti that his lungs and heart would get the healing in the night and weeks to come. Pray for his family, that they too would get better. Pray for rest. Love you all and am so grateful for how you have supported this ministry…we could not do it without you all.